Tag: Boris Johnson

  • Brexit Vasectomy And Euthanasia

    Doctor: Hi, can I help you with something?

    Me: Yes, I’m unsure about having a vasectomy, tell me more.

    Doctor: Just get on with it!

    Me: I beg your pardon.

    Doctor: Vasectomy means vasectomy

    Me: what?

    Doctor: Trust me, I’m a doctor. Next!

    #Brexit

    #Vasectomy


    Doctor: Hi, you again. Can I help?

    Me: Yeah, I’m considering euthanasia, can you explain my options, please.

    Doctor: Euthanasia means euthanasia.

    Me: Oh, that simple eh, well….

    Doctor (interrupting me): Just get on with it

    Me: my groin hurts…

    Doctor: Next!

    #Brexit

    #Euthanasia

  • In like

    In like

    In
    Out the dirty bin, like Flynn, trippin’
    Sin of Johnsin, Jonesin for deregs
    Suckin’ the last dregs of capital
    From a burst bubble

    In, in with them, in it together
    With Europe to weather the weather
    You choose Trump or Tusk?
    In with your kin
    Folks in mass who be from working kingdom class

    In for the workers rights
    In for fair and decent opportunity for all
    In for one and one for all in
    In good we trust

    In over your head with the out gang
    In the thick of it and getting thicker by the Wetherspoon full
    Think McFly, think quicker
    Sicker and licker shot to shoot the big dipper dobber

    In, like cucumber in Gin
    Like a holiday abroad on a whim
    For consumer rights
    For human and animal rights
    Stay in, come unity
    Not separatism
    No schism

    Ready up for the fight, for the flight, the blindsight roulette zit
    In like a hole in one
    Like a slam dunk, a corner kick, a prick
    Inn like a stable for Jayzeus

    In without Tory heist
    In without Brexit Party hallucinations
    In like Quintin Tarantino movies
    In your face Ian Turncoat Austin

    In the pool of commerce the largest market
    In the mood
    In the future of international learning with European cultures
    In the market place of market places
    In your own skin
    In place in positive spin

    Shedding Camerons pigskin and Johnson’s sheepskin
    Leaving deadley sin, Dudley sin by Ian Busted Austin
    In with the strong, in to underpin your rights
    In and ready to take it on the chin
    Begin trackin’ thin lines that lead to lies and Gove coke puffin’
    Boris de Pfeffel huffin’ lies and elitist disregard
    For everybody but them, the Bullingdongers

    In like the loony bin Boris should be confined within
    In like the firing pin
    In the cross hairs of hate I relogate to the trash bin
    Reason, fairness, openness and up-to date information
    In memory of Heathcote Williams
    In time
    In like Huckleberry Finn.
    In like a drawing pin to the shin of Boris Johnsin.

    In

    In

    In

  • FACT CHECK, 1-2

    FACT CHECK, 1-2

    Introduction: I woke up this morning and rhymed my mind wheels. Enjoy, love, fly.

    Fact check and false check chicken neck
    Fat Cheque, fake chap, make chat,
    Ignorant ain’t cha’

    I look pale but I got this tribal trail for yer’
    A big whale, like a shark fish swimming tour
    Eternally 23, names wordsley
    Off the top get a mop cuz’ brexshit moves sleazey
    You tease me, with the promise of rhyme
    Debase me, with crime-minister prime

    I’m coming for Boris with Jez and Chuck Norris
    We gonna’ plant a forest, we gonna’ chant a chorus
    For poets who come before us, and claw us a torus

    In spore us inspire us can’t tire us with tyrants
    My family migrants with floral fragrance not vagrants
    This ones for the vegans pagans and Finnegans
    Rap shenanigans in my shattergums sugar-plumb fairy songs
    Sculptured bongs in cultured dishes, make three curses
    And bake four wishes

    Get some tissues, for this fission-fusion
    Boris and Mogg And Farage mirage illusion
    Contusion contortion, lies and distortion
    More than their portion of sleepy Eaton potion
    Dribbled out to the nation
    Logic on ration
    The P.M loves fashion
    And the fashion is fascism and isms and schism
    First-class division for second class vision

    Fact check and false check chicken neck
    Fat Cheque, fake chap, make chat,
    Ignorant ain’t cha’

    Fuck Boris, don’t let the lies permeate
    Hold the motherfucker to each word turd mate
    Tabloid media failing yer big tech selling yer’
    Big dicks swinging yer getting fucked I’m tellin’ yer
    Wake up smell it year
    The writings pun the wall and it’s led by donkeys
    The two blonde beasts were both bred by honkies
    War carded, retorytarded
    fart in the face of democracy, Trump
    A bull in the office of orifice, Boris

    So I leave that behind and get my ass outside
    Take a trip to the park and go “weeeee” down the slide
    I skip some dog shit and write a new hit
    I got more on my shoe than I know what to doo-doo with
    so I pick it and flip it and scrape some more off
    While thinking of Putin and Mikhail…Gorbachev
    Having a loff’ getting shit of my shoes
    The arbitrary rhyme scheme to mean tepid blues

    It looked like choco ice cream but
    Tasted like marmite mixed with
    Vaseline, a brexshit dream

    Fact check and false check chicken neck
    Fat Cheque, fake chap, make chat,
    Ignorant ain’t cha’

    Well listen, they’re not all this, and all that
    I’m not all steve and I’m not all Pratt
    Don’t carry a gat or a bat or gun
    Just a couple of pens, some vinyl and drum
    Ruppa-Pum-Pummel your feet with stones
    Eat hot dog buns with spiced microphones

    Fight waves and resistance with minimal drag
    like a sea hag witch shaman poet slag
    lightning bolt one-leg from Winnipoop-peg
    Smoked your last roach and drank the last dreg

    Goodbye summer wine hello winter rant
    When I write off the dome its me, ste, itinerant
    Squinity butterfly sprinty, with an Irish tint
    Favourite colours green, and flavour mint

    I put your tongue in a splint
    And sent your eyeballs to Clent
    Nose to the grind
    And ears important
    Head in the clouds and feet on the slab
    Gimme some acid to unleash my splift’ of the gob

    These rhymes on a cob
    This life of a slob, firing back at the mob
    Who lost you your job
    With lies from their club
    I shoot with this dub
    I scoot to the nub
    Just dance to the sub
    Sit up, don’t be a slouch like Mogg
    Be like Jez
    Make plans to heal this mezz’
    Confess and test the best of yourself
    Get abreast of yourself
    Find the rest of yourself
    Find the others

    Oh, oh, oh….find, the others
    Agree to tolerate their manias
    If they can tolerate yours
    Be like flipper not Jaws
    Take a walk take a pause
    Reflect and direct the love in all ways
    The hated are fated to be elated with antiquated hate

    Fact check and false check chicken neck
    Fat Cheque, fake chap, make chat,
    Ignorant ain’t cha’

    A poet avoids rhyme like the plague
    Forcing clarity of sanity distinguished from vague
    These rhymes are childish
    Puns served hot and mildish
    English tingle ish’ single this, finger lift, to right wing toffs

    I wish I wish in just one stanza
    You’d explain the brexit extravaganza
    Hex it, stop it, smell it, chuck it, heal it, steal it,
    Few walk the talk, few truly feel it
    If you want to fight Trump you have to stop Brexit
    That’s it, in a nutshell, a gut smell, say what now?
    What punk-rock rap includes lyrics from Bercow?
    Get justified ancient and Moo Moo
    Come together and tackle the doo-doo

    Fact check and false check chicken neck
    Fat Cheque, fake chap, make chat,
    Ignorant ain’t cha’

    Fact check, 1-2.

    –Steve Fly 9th, October, 2019. Amsterdblam.

    STEVE FLY: SELECTED POETRY

  • Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson And Donald John Trump Are Falling

    Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson And Donald John Trump Are Falling
    Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson And Donald John Trump Are Failing

    The leaders of the free world
    Who occupy the highest orifices
    In the United States of America
    And the United Kingdom
    Will fall due to the weight

    Of truth pushing down on them
    As they punch down upon the
    Vulnerable with their Uranium tipped
    Shells and bullshit tipped austerity
    In league with criminals and

    Murderers Johnson and Trump
    51st state tag team gropers
    Lies skating doubles champions
    Top footbullshit goal scorers
    Track and field and destroy stars

    Wearing lies and deceit on their sleeve
    Racism on their foreheads
    English American German Russian
    What is nationality to a global terrorist?
    Both top of their first division division division

    I salute those who stand up and speak truth
    To madman Boris de Pfeffel and Dog Trump
    A twenty-four seven three sixty-five fifty-one state
    Meditation to not become like them
    Do not lose your centre fighting a hot fudge Sunday

    Watch them trip and fall into the swamp they made
    Fall off the walls they made (Humpty de Pfeffel Trumpty)
    Celebrate journalism now! by
    Fact checking your news and watching F For Fake
    Peace comes of communication
    May warmongers choke on their own entropy

    Boris and Donald are falling
    Boris and Donald are failing
    Boris and Donald are falling
    Boris and Donald are failing

    Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson And Donald John Trump Are Falling
    Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson And Donald John Trump Are Failing

    Repeat Infinitum…

  • “Borrisalooner” – James Joyce, Finnegans Wake, Chapter 23. (Page 337)

    The future prophesy reported to surround the highly weird book, Finnegans Wake (1939) can be evidenced here: Chapter 23, page 337. Sounds a lot like Boris Johnson to me, and my sentiment asking for buds, and order. John Bercow anyone. I am incorrigible too. Boris the LOONER, and Boris Johnson the loner. Spot on jim.

     

    We want Bud. We want Bud Budderly. We want Bud Budderly
    boddily. There he is in his Borrisalooner. The man that shunned
    the rucks on Gereland. The man thut won the bettlle of the
    bawll. Order, order, order, order!

    http://www.trentu.ca/faculty/jjoyce/fw-337.htm

    p.s Joyce wore a Borsalino hat.

  • Peter Sutcliffe For Tory Number 10 Spot?

    Boris Johnson pushed for UK arms sales to Saudi Arabia in the midst of a bombing campaign in Yemen blamed for the deaths of dozens of civilians, newly released emails show.”–Independent, June 12th, 2019.

  • I’ll tolerate your manias, if you tolerate mine

    “I’ll tolerate your hobbies if you tolerate mine.”–Hagbard Celine.


    I hope you can forgive my erros, and mistakes on contemplating Karl Popper and Johnny English. I think Rowan Atkinson has bumbled around the philosophy of Karl Popper, and missed the subtle nuance of Popper’s Paradox of intolerance. For example, the concept of limits, where to draw the line (using specific cases) and when to tolerate the intolerant in the defence of tolerance, needs some open debate. Damn straight. 

    Consider WWII, the slightly more tolerant allies fought back against the very very intolerant Axis powers. Arguably, when Nazi’s and fascist groups organize and rise up, and market themselves well, and go on the march recruiting and grooming others with lies, it’s time to become a bit intolerant of their intolerance, to a degree. I said, “a bit intolerant” A paradox of intolerance? I think that the paradox comes with the territory of absolutism, what we need are shades of meaning, specific examples to stretch and synthesize the limits of any given definition.  

    Karl Popper rallied against solving arguments with “fists and pistols”, and I think that his entire life’s work was aimed toward creating a culture of tolerant, open debate, what Rowan calls “robust dialogue”. The difference, between Rowan and his defence of Boris Johnson’s cheap joke, seems to me to be, that Popper only too well understands that the power and dangers of unmitigated Nazi and Fascist propaganda, a worrying monopoly on the press and broadcast media, and a strict crack down on dissenters and independent investigative journalists, and the impact that this has had on the rise of the ulta-intolerant, violence prone, intellectual thugs.

    Rowan, from his letter, and his previous speech concerning the right to insult, seems to me to be missing the impact of the sordid, unholy alliance between British M.P’s (most but not all Tory) and media barons (like Rupert Murdoch) and tabloid media outlets (The Daily Mail, The Sun, The Telegraph) and huge international spy data firms (Cambridge Analytica, Aggregate IQ, Facebook). Buckets of very strong evidence points to a very unbalanced, ‘robust public forum for robust discussions on these issues,’ to say the least. Watershed rules and the other regulations adhered to by the BBC might be a good jump off point for robust debate? Where do they draw the line of intolerance to certain speech? Do they see promoting illegal drugs, such as cannabis, equally dangerous to promoting far-right racist ideology and flat out lies, as in vote leave campaign? After all this, Rowan, personally speaking, I’ll still tolerate your manias, if you’ll tolerate mine. But I beg you to attempt a more balanced, nuanced PR stunt, than defending Boris.   

    Free speech without free RADIO speech is as zero. Same for TV, and print press. Rowan, I ask you, how can you have a discussion about tolerant society and intolerant society IN a society with so many GAG orders on certain issues, with totalitarian Digital Intelligence and Security protocols, and yet more unholy international alliances (Saudi Arabia, The United States?) How, Mr. Blackadder, can you favour allowing more insulting, racist and bigoted speech, on the one hand, without simply paying tribute to the fact of the situation on the ground in the UK right now. You have missed Popper’s subtle contribution to human thought and conduct, in my humble opinion, you have communicated in a inappropriate manner, and come to the defence of the speech from one of the more disgusting examples of Englishman we have in 2018, without simply admitting that yes, there is a rise of right wing hate speech and racial slurs and a new found licence to call people hurtful and hateful things. Rowan, you could have made a comparison between a thoughtful, original, clever and artful joke, a nuanced joke, that uses precisely the same punchline as Boris, yet, in the tradition of original comedy, actually causes people to think. And perhaps followed by a story of somebody who has been bullied, and then taken there own life, arguably caused by name calling. Isolated cases, should just grow thicker skin?  

    I think we need ‘some laws’ concerning freedom of speech, and perhaps only binding for media broadcasts, print media, political speech. But who is going to police that, and where do you draw the line between a political speech and comedy sketch? A utopian idea, and a place where I think we could begin the debate, where indeed individuals can say what they like, and then start to add complexity, what abouts and what ifs….what about if somebody is on speakers corner, and they get filmed, and it goes viral on instagram? I think it’s the premeditated, highly edited and pre-produced forms of propaganda that deserve scorn and a watchful eye, such as the videos produced by Gert Wilder’s, and much of the Tommy Robinson campaign, and much of what Breitbart puts out, and, of course the UKIP Brexit vote leave, (will do anything to make you) beleavers.

    Yes, I’ll tolerate your mania’s, if you’ll tolerate mine. Seems fair? sure thing, I’ll tolerate your illegal wars, mark austerity, crack down on the homeless, disabled and vulnerable, and unholy alliances with foreign powers, offshore banking practice, and overpriced Royal family, yes, I would….tolerate ALL of that, if you simply tolerated by favourite herbal plant remedy (my medicine, proven to be harmless and non addictive and effective my thousands of reports produced over decades, yet ignored) Yes, I would tolerate all of your despicable actions and historic trail of blood and slavery and war and trade and war, if you would simply allow me, and all people of the UK to not face criminal prosecution for recreationally consuming cannabis. Fair? “No” the law is the law kid. Get the fuck outta’ here, pay the fine or do the time. End of…”

    You see, Rowan, your of tolerance in defence of Boris reeks of your own alter-ego, the dumb Bond like Johnny English. A bumbling intelligence asset used to distract a population, including awkward sexual repressions and already deeply entranced by a TVternet, into carrying on regardless. English, calling it out as is, as you do in England, no care for possible damage done or fanning of flames (although ‘isness’ and ‘beingness’ (Mr Being?) have been, refuted since 2000 years ago, essences are like ghosts, you should know this Rowan as an actor, it’s what you do. Calling somebody an X, usually involves a noun, which is in some sense meaningless, due to the fact that we are human beings, interacting within a process oriented reality, a world of verbs. “There are no nouns, I only see verbs.” Bucky Fuller said. Ad hominem attacks usually reply on nouns to do the most damage, and invoke mockery of the outwardly obvious, i.e “you look like the result of an Ostrich that fucked a meerkat. ” I digress. “Your beastiality is your right, and your right to promote beastiality and necrophilia with another species, on the national news, is your right, Mr. Cameron!”

    Many people awake to the unfolding scandal(s) in the UK, see “reason to believe that their own security and that of the institutions of liberty are in danger.” Reason to no longer tolerate (due to a sense of self-preservation) speech and broadcasts that cross the line (whatever that line is, specific to individual cases?) for example the line Alex Jones crossed, specifically claiming the Sandy Hook massacre was a hoax. (so here we have another specific example of a line crossed) I agree with the prognosis, and remain greatly concerned by the damage I perceive done, by the Alex Jones brand of disinformation, spreading lies, racism and hatred to incite violence and very intolerant intolerance. Islamophobia 101. It’s tricky territory here, comparing the Alex Jones brand of right wing propaganda with, let’s say, the ‘far-light-right’ images and tactics used by the vote leave campaign, and UKIP are problematic.

    Each case should be treated separately, we should explore both the differences and similarities. I think we should strive to construct a hierarchy of values in the robust public debate on these issues. And yes, I think that recidivist bullies and liars, on the national scale, such as UKIP and the vote leave campaign should be banned from at least reaching national air time before watershed? For me, UKIP have demonstrated beyond reasonable doubt, that they are a clear and present danger to security and that of the institutions of liberty across Great Britain. For my own family and friends sake, and for everybody else, all humans in the United Kingdom.

    I think Rowan, and other establishment friendly celebrities will be just fine post Brexit, living in their ivory tower of tepid jokes, and high brow elitism. Beloved by the all encompassing, unbalanced and monopolized UK entertainment moguls. Johnny English, the inept spy, and Blackadder, the pompous class snob, who is probably the best example of continued bullying (to Baldrick) in all UK TV history, calling for more insults and offending? I get your point Rowan, but I feel you dropped the ball and missed the chance to deliver an eloquent and nuanced bit of information. No, replacing one form of intolerance with another form of intolerance is not just replacing one for another. It’s the DIFFERENCES that distinguish one from another, the limits, and the specifics. Case by case. To generally call for more insults and offending comments, based on the germ immunity argument, based on the current climate in the UK seems ignorant at best, and damn right inciteful at worse.

    There’s a lot hinging upon the subjectivity of humour, and a lot of stand-up comedians get a lot of unnecessary flack from serious critics, and censors who are unable to view the context, of the jokes, and often choose to isolate the offending word: Jews, Scientology, Aids, Cancer, and then go on as the the comedian somehow is perpetuating the stereotypical mockery of said people, whereas, in most cases the comedian has worked his or her ass off to create something new, surprising, original and often therefore, paradoxical. Like great art, and music, and Zen Koans, the paradox can be a furtive place to make a joke. The only paradox I see about your defence of Boris Johnson, Rowan, is that Boris is officially the secretary of state. Like Trump, the lack of courtesy and common decency, manners, among our leaders and representatives is at an all time low. These are the last people to be dropping jokes that may in any way viewed to be racist, or mocking. That’s your job, Rowan, and what a good job you have done with another Johnny English film, thanks for making Britain great again, by portraying a character that every spy, CEO, M.P and councillor in the UK can relate to, the useful idiot.

    Consider the lack of tolerance from the establishment concerning drugs versus UKIP, to get a measure of another form of the paradox of intolerance, and where the priorities lie, where they do not choose tolerate, and where they do. Consider the homeless, those with dependencies beyond their control, the vulnerable, or simply foreign, are they just as reasonable a target of insults, just as good-game to prey on and exploit their weaknesses, often the obvious which they have little control over? compared with, let’s say, your mate from down the pub? Yes, that’s only banter, I get it. However, on-line, and broadcast far and wide, please, consider the impact your words might have. If you think you know what funny is, get up on the stage and try some material out on a room full of people. Rowan, I hear you were last seen doing stand-up in 1984, is this true? Now we all know what kind of jokes you think are good and bad, you think that a rehashed, badly copied, borderline racist grunt from Boris Johnson is a good joke. Sad.

    I’ve got a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel.–Blackadder   

    Yours, Steve Fly